Funny Jewish and Yiddish Sayings for Instagram Captions
- Ask about your neighbors, then buy the house.
- Don't live in a town where there are no doctors.
- If God lived on earth, people would break his windows.
- If the rich could hire the poor to die for them, the poor would make a very nice living.
- He has more in his head than in his pocket.
- Rejoice not at thine enemy's fall - but don't rush to pick him up either.
- Worries go down better with soup than without.
- You can't sit on two horses with one behind.
- They are both in love: he with himself and she with herself.
- With horses you check the teeth; with a human you check the brains.
- The hat is fine but the head is too small.
- He's meditating on whether a flea has a belly-button.
- Thieves and lovers like the dark
- All is not butter that comes from a cow.
- If he were twice as smart, he'd be an idiot!
- If a girl can't dance, she says the musicians can't play.
- Dress up a broom and it will look nice too.
- Even a bear can be taught to dance.
- Don't give me the honey and spare me the sting.
- A black hen can lay a white egg.
- Man plans and God laughs.
- If you sleep with dogs, you get up with fleas.
Wise Proverbs for Insta
- A bird that you set free may be caught again, but a word that escapes your lips will not return.
- A mother understands what a child does not say.
- A pessimist, confronted with two bad choices, chooses both.
- As he thinks in his heart, so he is.
- As you teach, you learn.
- Do not be wise in words - be wise in deeds.
- Don't be sweet, lest you be eaten up; don't be bitter, lest you be spewed out.
- Don't look for more honor than your learning merits.
- First mend yourself, and then mend others.
- He that can't endure the bad, will not live to see the good.
- If charity cost nothing, the world would be full of philanthropists.
- If not for fear, sin would be sweet.
- Make sure to be in with your equals if you're going to fall out with your superiors.
- Not to have felt pain is not to have been human.
- What you don't see with your eyes, don't invent with your mouth.
Funny Quotes About Jews
- Anytime a person goes into a delicatessen and orders a pastrami on white bread, somewhere a Jew dies. - Milton Berle
- Jesus was a Jew, yes, but only on his mother's side. - Archie Bunker
- America is a place where Jewish merchants sell Zen love beads to agnostics for Christmas. - John Burton
- A car hit a Jewish man. The paramedic says, “Are you comfortable?” The man says, “I make a good living.
Popular Yiddish Words you can use on Instagram
- bubbe - Grandmother, other similar words are bobe or bobeshi
- chutzpah - extreme arrogance or nerve, another similar word is khutspe
- glitch - a slip or nosedive
- kibbitz - to chat or joke around
- kibbutz - a collective farm
- klutz - a block of wood; a clumsy of dumb person; another word is klots
- kosher - food or other things that is acceptable to Orthodox Jews
- kvetsh - to press or squeeze; complain
- Mazel Tov - good luck; congratulations; another word is mazltof
- mishegas - craziness; insanity
- mishpocheh - family; other words are mishpokhe or mishpucha
- oy vey - means dismay or grief; “oy vey iz mir” means “Oh, woe is me.”
- plotz - to explode, extreme aggravation; another word is plats
- shalom - deep peace; a greeting
- shlep - to drag; unwillingly carry something
- shtick - gimmick; something you do, like a routine on stage
- spiel - very long sales pitch
- shiksa - implies that a non-Jewish woman’s main traits are her good looks and youth
- shagetz - a non-Jewish boy who is unruly or bad natured
- tuches - your bottom; your rear end; other words are tuchis, tuches or tokhis
- yente - a gossip; a busybody
